


Tears

by AcesOfSpade



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bucky has a panic attack, Comforting Steve, Fireworks, Fourth of July, M/M, Panic Attacks, phonophobia, selaphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-05
Updated: 2015-07-05
Packaged: 2018-04-07 19:57:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4276023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AcesOfSpade/pseuds/AcesOfSpade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James Barnes is patriotic. On the Fourth of July, at least. Every other year, he'd celebrate at home, with his friends. This year, though, Natalia thought it would be fun to celebrate at the park. If Steve hadn't been there, James would've been screwed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tears

**Author's Note:**

> So I know I'm a little late for Fourth of July fics, but I wrote this based around my own experience on Wednesday (Canada Day) at the fireworks display. I did, in fact, start hyperventilating and crying.

Fourth of July. Possibly the best and worst day of the year for James Barnes. He got to drink himself silly in the name of patriotism, and there were always people in bathing suits to flirt with.

 

On the other hand, there were the fireworks. Sure, they were simply giant, colourful sparks shot into the sky, and they were pretty, but James tried to stay as far from the source as possible.

 

Things were made difficult when Natalia decided that this year, she was dragging James down to the park for the celebration. Everything was fine and okay, and James got to meet some of Natalia's other friends.

 

He spent most of the day ignoring the inevitable, taking things one drink at a time. He actually didn't drink that much, though. He mostly stuck to the weird snacks Nat's friend Clint had made. Red, white, and blue bacon flags? American flag PopTarts? Bald eagle cookies? Clint was a pretty weird guy from what James could tell.

 

As the day drew on, James finally got to see the friend he actually invited.

 

Steve Rogers was James' childhood best friend. They'd grown up in Brooklyn together, and had almost never been apart. Steve had been busy at work the day before, so he had spent most of that day catching up on assignments for his art classes.

 

He'd gotten to the park around sunset, carrying a few cases of beer. James had begged him to bring some, as the blonde artist knew how he got around fireworks.

 

10:00 on the dot, the fireworks started. James' fingers were shoved in his ears as he tried not to whimper. Each firework had its own volume and flash, so he took everything in stride.

 

About halfway through, he started whimpering with each new firework. His eyes were squeezed shut and his fingers dug much too far into his ears.

 

Out of habit, Steve's hand moved to rest on James' lower back to calm him down.

 

By the time the grand finale was done, James' forehead was pressed to his knees and he was in full panic mode. His body was shaking from his rapid, uneven breathing, small sobs escaping his lips.

 

Steve traced shapes on his back to calm him down, which usually worked. Apparently, this year was particularly bad, the worst Steve had seen, because James was still hysterical.

 

Nat and the rest had gone to find food just before the rapid-fire finale started, so they weren't there to witness James' breakdown.

 

"Bucky..." Steve whispered softly. "Bucky, you're okay."

 

James moved his head from his knees, eyes puffy and leaking. He gave Steve this terrified, defeated look that sent the blonde's heart into meltdown. He hated seeing his best friend like this. It hurt him.

 

Steve stood up, offering his hands to James, who immediately grabbed them to pull himself up. As soon as he was up, Steve wrapped him in a comforting hug. James burrowed his face in the crook of Steve's neck and tried to calm down.

 

Breathing in the scent he could only call 'Steve', James felt himself relax. His shoulders slumped, his sobs devolving into whimpers. Steve kept him close, running his hand down James' spine.

 

"It's okay, Bucky." he kept muttering. "They're done, they can't hurt you."

 

During the comforting, the others had returned. None knew of James' phonophobia or selaphobia, so all were confused. Even Nat was in the dark, and Nat knew everything.

 

Tony was the first to clear his throat awkwardly. "Uh, guys?" he muttered. Sure, they were his friends, but it was weird seeing them in such an... intimate position.

 

At the sound of Tony clearing his throat, Steve turned his head to look at the group, trying not to disturb James as he was calming down. It wouldn't be long until he was back to being himself, that was for sure.

 

"Yeah, Tony?" Steve asked softly, stopping his hand so he could concentrate on talking softly.

 

Tony just wildly gestured to James, who had finally pulled away from Steve's neck. He wiped his eyes on the collar of his tank top and turned to the group. Tony looked freaked out, Bruce looked... like Bruce usually did, Nat had her head cocked, Clint was preoccupied with some cotton candy licorice, and Thor just walked past and went to grab his stuff, as if this was totally normal.

 

James leaned heavily on Steve, still shuffling softly. "Phonophobia." he muttered, voice shaky. "And selaphobia."

 

Bruce nodded as if his theory were just confirmed. Nat gave the briefest of hurt glances before turning to Tony.

 

"Don't be weird about it, Stark." she said evenly.

 

Tony gestured wildly in the air, mouth opening and closing. "I'm not weird about things." he finally said, a hurt tone to his voice.

 

No one said a word. They all just resumed their actions of beginning to clean up their mess. James just went to sit a little away, trying to cleanse the last of the panic out of him.

 

Everyone else had left, except for Steve. Steve went to sit next to James, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

 

"See? You're okay." he said softly, a hint of a smile on his face. "You made it through, just like you always do."

 

"All because of you." James said, mouth not listening to his thoughts. "Because you care enough to calm me down, care enough to make me feel safe, care enough to watch out for me." he was rambling, voice still shaky. "You care about me like I'm a baby kitten. Ain't that a twist from when we were kids. You're not the baby kitten anymore." He had leaned his head on Steve's shoulder by this point, eyes closed. "And I care about you. A lot. I think more than I should. But I care. A lot. Actually, that's not the right set of words." His rambling went on, Steve letting it happen. "I-I think the words I'm looking for are 'I love you. A lot'."

 

Steve's eyes widened at that. Wait what? Did his best friend, Bucky freaking Barnes, just say that, out loud? His heart was racing a thousand miles a minute, his brain in overdrive.

 

His ability to speak was momentarily not an option, so he opted for the 'actions speak louder than words' approach.

 

Taking his arm away from James, Steve used it to cup the brunette's cheek and pull him in, placing a soft kiss on his lips.

  
When they pulled away, Steve muttered 'I think those are the words I needed too' against his lips.


End file.
